The Exodus

 Although I had issues with traditional church leaving on my own was never something I pursued. I went back and forth for the entire time I pastored ; one month I was happy as the leader of the church, the next month I was ready to pack up and go back home This kept my family in a constant state of unbalance, as you can imagine. After years of building a new church plant my wife and I divorced and this event brought an end to the church. Still unsure of what to do with myself I decided to go back to a Christian college and get my Bachelors degree in Counseling. It was in the spring of 2014 that I began my 'Red Sea" experience, my exodus from established, traditional church.  However, it was not the majestic, awe inspiring event that we have seen pictured in so many movies. For me it was a total devastation of all that I had invested my life into. It was an immediate destruction of my identity as a pastor and a christian. Take one part narcissistic church leader,  add one part Federal Agency raid and add a sprinkle of betrayal. Cook on high heat and then serve with a side of paranoia and panic attacks and there you have the perfect recipe for what my life became overnight. 

I felt as though my life was one big hazy nightmare. I was completely lost; spiritually, emotionally and physically. I went days without eating and nights without sleeping. I had so many screaming matches with God. I blamed him for all of this and accused Him of tricking me into living this life only to pull the rug out from under me. Depression was my constant friend.

But even with all of this chaos that I now found myself in, it was still another 14 months before I made a clean break and began the long climb out of the rubble of this disaster.

I imagine that some of you reading this have experienced similar situations. The details of your story are certainly going to be different from mine. Some of you reading may be feeling the stirring questions that keep you awake at night and you are considering leaving church as the only way to find peace. If you find yourself in either of these places I understand. I am here for you. Let's talk about it.

Aho Metakuye Ohayesin

Thom